Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
