I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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