I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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