I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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