If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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