what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
