I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
