I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Houston, we have a blender
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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