is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
