I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
