I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
