So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
