So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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