I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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