do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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