This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
