It's Friday. Sex?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
