You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
