Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
