why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
