playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
