You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
