In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
it's great music for shaving your balls
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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