A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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