if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
do nipples grow back?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
