How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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