Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
