We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
