I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I had to cum in my sink.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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