the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
