I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I need a beard to bite.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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