I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
