My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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