I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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