I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
She said her name was "party"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
