I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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