So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
