just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
