Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
