Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
