he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
