Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
