Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My liver just had a heart attack.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Panties = found
Randomize
