Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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