i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
