Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
