guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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