Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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