Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
