you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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